Regina Pek: September 2013

I haven't been feeling good lately, but at least i know i'm much more stronger now. I'm just upset about my judgement about things, about people again. I was wronged about things. I was wronged. I thought I could change you, change everything, fix everything, fix all the mess. I can't. I am feeling like the girl always trying to fix someone like you, all the mess you'd, everything of you. I thought my love was enough to save you, but it wasn't sufficient. It was so fragile. Everything was so vulnerable. I didn't expected this coming because I was having a rough phase for a while... when things are getting better, this came along.

There's nothing I can do, there's nothing I can say. I don't know what to feel.

All I can do is to, pick myself up again. Stand on my two feet again.

I'll be fine, give me some time.

It's been a little tough these days for me now, maybe temporary. The feeling i'm having right now is numb. I can't do anything about it, I can't do anything to fix it. I can't. I don't know how to feel, what to do, what to say. It's been a while, since I let people in again. I was happier when I guarded my walls, build my own walls, and just be on my own. Once i let people in, cycle repeats. Is this what people always say? You'll always go through things when you're growing up, from here you learn, you pick yourself up. I'm just unhappy about, my judgements about things. I was wrong. Picking myself back again, letting myself find myself back.

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I put you high up in the sky
And now, you're not coming down
It slowly turned, you let me burn
And now, we're ashes on the ground

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I never meant to start a war
I just wanted you to let me in
And instead of using force
I guess I should've let you win
I never meant to start a war
I just wanted you to let me in
I guess I should've let you win

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

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It's gonna be pain for a while, hard for a while, tough for a while

But only tough people survives. It'll be okay, it'll be fine.

feelin' numb, feelin' empty, feelin' lost.

how long can you hold on to that faith in things that you love?

Wearing; dress from shoplastbusride,

clutch from overseas,

shoes from steve madden

So my weekends were a really well-spent one! On Friday, the boy and I decided to explore around the east area since he has just shifted into the east side recently and we haven't been really been familiar with the place. We found many places that has good and cheap food….. traditional food, and also, my favourite, waffles and pancakes!! I stay in the west since young and I've always feel that the west side is always so boring ;( east side has so many interesting things, and at the same time, the place is always very quiet and relaxing. I guess even though Singapore is really small, but there's still a lot of places that is being undiscovered.

wearing; top and shoes from shoplastbusride,

clutch from overseas,

pants from Bangkok

Saturday, I decided to wear my maroon beret out! But I'm really lovin' how it really matches my top!!

i headed out in the evening to meet the girls at timbre to celebrate Fuli's birthday! Happy birthday again dear ;) And then we headed out to Haji Lane for some drinks and to chit chat. I really love quiet nights like this whereby we girls just sit down and talk about life, talk about things, talk about problems, talk about how we feel, talk about future. I guess many of us are still unsure about what we wanna do in future, what we aim to do, what we'll be doing in 10 years time. We're all unsure, but it's always interesting to hear about each other's goals, each other's plans. And someday, we'll remember about the little talks, conversations with our friends, and look back thinking, actually life is not being planned. You'll never know! Oh well ;)

On a side note, I've gotten back my previous semester results! Great i managed to be able to proceed without re-taking papers!! Can't wait to graduate next year already!!! I've so much plans for next year!!

at the same time, any suggestions on what you wanna see more on lastbusride? ;)

HIT ME UP AT www.ask.fm/joyofsunshines

till then x.

wearing;

Top from shoplastbusride,

Ripped Jeans from Bangkok,

Transparent heels from shoplastbusride,

Bag from h&m

I'm usually not a jeans person unless the jeans are really fitting and highwaisted, however I love this pair of ripped jeans!! It gives the paperbag feel, best match with a black belt.

It's finally friday, have been awaiting for weekends for a while as school has been pretty much tiring!

I'm gonna have my term break in a few weeks' time, can't wait to get my tickets booked to be out of the country, need a break from a lot of stuffs lately. I'm feeling kind of inspired lately, have been thinking of doing up some exclusive stuffs for lbr soon!! Can't wait for it!!

till then x

wearing; Lynnette Parka in Cream & boots from shoplastbusride,

bag from overseas

This was two weeks ago, when Joanne and I met up for some study date. We were supposed to be doing our work.. yet we ended up eating and eating.. We dine in eighteen chefs twice cause we wanted to try the desserts there too! Turns out the waffles are pretty different from usual, they have exclusive berries on it too. Something unique!

wearing; Tube from Bugis Street,

Fur Clutch from overseas,

Skirt from h&m,

Shoes from Jeffrey Campbell

My Friday was spent well! It's been a while since we girls had a late night out together. We went over to aquanova to celebrate Joanne's birthday, and zouk aftermath. Manage to see a lot of familiar faces that I haven't seen for a long time!

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Happy birthday to my favourite, Joanne! We met 3 years ago, and we were both really different back then! You've always been like sister to me, what i love about you is that you always watch out for the ones you love, especially me, helping me through rough times when I needed advices and suggestions. I don't usually open up myself easily, because of many things that happened, but however, you're one of the first that allowed me to open up again, and start being a little more sociable again. Thanks for always being there when I needed a pair of ears to speak to, someone physically there for me, always remember that no matter what happens, you'll always have my back. I love you a lot sweetheart, and happy birthday once again! ;)

Have been feeling really exhausted due to school,

heading to bed now ;)

till then x

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