Friday, October 17, 2014

never settle down just for anyone

Many times I've been feeling a little upset and a little down because of this. But come to a point I realise that I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore. 

We shouldn't just settle down for anyone. We should settle down for the best and for the one you feel that it's all gonna be worth it. 

Firstly, will you want to waste all your effort, time or even money on someone that you know it's just gonna be there for a moment? Then that goes to all your emotions, your feelings, everything going to a waste and everything that you've built up from sketch. 

A man that truly loves you, despite how long or how much you guys have been through, he wouldn't just stop putting in effort for nothing. He wouldn't just make up excuses. 

Every relationship always started up good, the beginning is always, sweet, romantic, because it's all just the beginning of a honeymoon period. You haven't really seen how the person is really like, haven't really get to know how are they really really like. Their habits haven't been shown, sometimes you feel like you've known them very very well, but it might not be true. It might not. 

Female individual and male works really differently. As time goes by, a male might love you like crazy and do anything for you, it might end up differently that he might not feel the same way as the beginning. Unlike female, we tend to start out with just a little bit of feelings, however, as time goes by, we take every little thing into consideration and our feelings will grow stronger than before. 

To be honest, I wouldn't want to waste time in finding some temporary comfort that stays with me just for a while and at the end i might get myself hurt knowing that i might have already developed a certain lingering feelings with that individual. I will want to find someone who actually loves you for who you are and not just what you portrait to them. Like not just what they've seen outside, love you for who you really are both inside and outside. 

The way they can handle you, can settle down with you, can accept you for everything you are, all your flaws and everything and having them not to complain about the flaws in you at the end. 

Don't just settle for the less. Don't. ;') 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

self love

Having good vibes now and feeling really really great cause I've kinda sorted out my thoughts and my feelings in a bus ride home while i was on the way back home today.

It took me a while to realise that I've been masking a part of me and I felt like shit. I want to be me, I want to be myself. I want to feel myself in my own bones. Despite all the flaws I've, I want to feel myself. 

And I've always been lacking of... something really important to every individual,

which is self-love. Self love.

I've been always blaming myself on situations, on things, on everything that have ever happened to me, and I have always put myself so low to a point that I couldn't bring myself up again. 

I put myself so low. So so low. 

Today, I eventually realise that, I shouldn't have put myself so low, things all happen for a reason. Some people is only bound to stay in our hearts and not our lives. 

But right now, I gonna love myself better than ever and I'm gonna love myself first. 
The true happiness always comes within yourself. They are not from your friends, relationships, it's within you, within yourself.

" Find peace and happiness within yourself and you'll feel great, you'll feel good. " 

I hope these vibes stays with me, I hope I don't go astray. I hope. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

In the past, I always think that I'll need someone to actually fix my broken pieces back for me or even mending all the broken parts of me. But now I come to a point that I learn that i can bring flowers to myself, i can be the one watering the flowers. I don't have to wait till someone to actually bring flowers to me to build a garden. I can build my own garden myself and be myself at my very best.

Come to a point, I've learnt so much about everything. Despite everything that have happened, I come to a point realising that humans might not appreciate what they are having right now, and because they feel that what they are having will always be there. Doors will always be open for them as and when they feel like or likes it. I'm sorry to say, people have to learn it in the hard way that once you took things for granted and you've pass the limit, I'm sorry that doors will be shut on you forever. They will never be opened up to you ever again.

These are the problems with human. With man kind. We are too comfortable with things and hence... we don't put in the effort anymore. Example like relationships, friendships...

We always feel that they will be there. But if you don't cherish or appreciate.. one day you'll realise everything is way too late and you can never ever change anything.

always have to learn it the hard way.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

havent felt so low, felt so bad in a long time.
and today, i felt it all over again.
i felt like giving up on every single hope i've within me and i was about to crush myself.

it's always like this. the positivity drys out every now and then.

always, to myself, " things will be okay, it will. it will. "

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


i felt like all my bones in my body are aching all over again and every heartbeat hurts. i felt so suffocated. i felt so unusual. i felt like i've not been me, myself for a long time. i felt like i've been putting up a happy smile a happy face for quite a bit, quite a while. i've been neglecting on everything that i've ever love, i've been neglecting on things that i really wanted and really want. 

i'm exploding. right now. i'm always like the girl that needs to run into some secured and comforting arms each time this happens. but no, i came to a point i realised that i might not be able to do this anymore. i may not be able to have anymore comforting arms to run to. when i'm young, i fall, i bleed, i cry. i run to my parents. but how about now? i can't always rely on others to help me when i'm bad when i'm on my worst days… i'm exploding. i'm feeling all the sadness. all the suffocation. all the every single bit of it. 

i hate myself. each time when i'm positive. so positive. the positivity don't last forever. 

can i love myself better?

i can't breathe… i need some fresh air.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


Just some random thoughts for the night that lead me here writing my thoughts out…

I'm currently working / having like a short term internship and in my life right now all i see is people between the age of 20-50 doing the same thing, same routine, same shit every single day…
It makes me wonder. Do we have to do this or whatever we've been doing for the rest of our life? Or getting stuck with an office job from 9-630 everyday.. doing the same thing, facing the same computer screen? 

In my head, I talk to myself, thank god i know that i am not going to do this for the rest of my life. I'm not saying that working in the office is bad, or having an office job is bad… but however all i felt that most of us are just working for the sake of working, working for the sake of the money, for the sake of living and for the sake that we'll want to survive here and we'll want to survive through. 

It's sad how most of us or most of the people couldn't choose what they really love to do, or choose what to pursue in their life. I used to really felt lost about myself and about me. I was lost to a point that I got so depressed and all i thought was giving up. But in my life, I don't wanna choose to just live a life doing things for the sake of doing. I wanna enjoy my life. I wanna enjoy this life, and i wanna do and definitely to pursue what I love. Yes as many know, I'm a kind of a realistic person. I look at things in a realistic way, however that doesn't stop me from dreaming, that doesn't stop me from wanting to pursue my dream. I often question everyone around me, who are usually a few years older than me, what do you intend to do? what are your plans? 70% of the people will answer me with this, " I don't know. " 

Many of us here just pursue our studies in order to get a stable job, a stable pay, everything that keeps you stable and you get stuck in something you don't like for so long. I feel suffocated. I want to pursue what I really love and do what I love. I don't want to answer my life with answers like, I don't know. What if? But then… and so on and forth. 

I'm hoping and praying that everything will go smoothly and go in my way. I've made too much bad decisions in life that I've to suffer from the consequences now.

But I'm always believing that. There'll always be good days. There'll always be better days ahead. 

If you are willing to work hard, willing to work your ass off for what you love. 

Monday, June 30, 2014

I can't express how inspired i am feeling right now, it's kind of a sort of change of style but i'm a little way too excited and happy to show it to you girls! Lbr will be bringing in something different from what we usually will, and we'll be showing a small range of it to you girls soon. I've known nothing about it previously and despite certain lessons that I've learnt from everywhere and anywhere, I've gotten my inspiration to source and to design again. It's been really long since i felt this way. Lately, I've been really tired and really been exhausted from everything that I've been working on and it seems like I've found a way to get out of everything and to stop relying so much on others. Now I've learnt that I've to start growing flowers in my own yard while waiting for others to bring me, meaning in short, it means, I should start working on myself, and on my own instead of waiting for people to spoon feed me. 

It's just a sudden thought that my inspirations and everything else are flowing through my mind. 

and, I've been really happy lately. really really happy. 
though how hard / how dark clouds are, 
things always will end good if you believe.

that's what has been keeping me going. despite how hard things might be, how hard things are,
continue to push yourself. continue to work even harder. 

this post is kinda random but i just wanna share my happiness!! 

"don't lose yourself in your fears"