Thought of a lot of things today, and I felt that I did screwed up a lot in the past few months when I was weak and vulnerable. I used to be so stubborn that I wouldn't even want to move out from that state, but I'm thankful that today, I am out of that state. I used to be in a state whereby, I just want to numb myself from everything else, avoiding problems, avoiding things, avoiding the world, just trying to push everything away, push everything aside because of me being selfish about my own feelings. Because of how I feel, I screw up things. Because of how I feel, I became so selfish. I know I did hurt a few people unintentionally during that state, those that really really care about me, I'm really sorry, really sorry for being so selfish that time that I thought I could stop the time for myself and just keep dwelling about things that shouldn't matter anymore. 

I told myself today. For all these mistakes that I've made, it'll be a stepping stone for me. I'll use them to push myself forward, motivate myself, telling myself I'm not going to hit the bottom again. The feeling of hitting the bottom is really... really bad. I regret those times because of certain selfish decisions of mine, I've to face consequences that I will suffer. And, decisions. I should make decision wisely. I should always think twice before I do anything. Not to go near something with thorns knowing that you'll get hurt. Knowing where is the better place, better decision, better choice. 

I'm really glad, that.. I'm looking at things in a different perspective now. Really glad that.. I'm happier now, it's been so many months ever since everything have been going down, but I'm glad that, at least now, many other things are fixed, and I always believe that good days will comeby after the rain. 

Setting priorities right, setting goals, making my way to achieve them. 

(feeling very motivated today)


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